actually, I'm a sock model
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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