Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize