Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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