True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
