yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
