how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
