If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
