So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Too much gin, very little bucket
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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