ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize