last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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