I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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