its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
