I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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