My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
