did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
