At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
