I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
