I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
