It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
