Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize