How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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