Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
third nipple confirmed
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
