dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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