I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
wrigley field is MILF paradise
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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