you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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