i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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