but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
