Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize