New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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