I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
