god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
