Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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