i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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