two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
