I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
