If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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