I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
