Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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