Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
