Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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