Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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