that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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