The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The best revenge is premature balding
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You left your phone here
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