First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
