Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
