i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
