Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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