Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
