I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
