U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
