So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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