My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
