Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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