i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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