...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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