he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
