I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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