Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
one might say we're banned from that church
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
