I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
