Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
