He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
