I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
