It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
