I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
