please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
