you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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