On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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