I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize