I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
