idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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