bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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