By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
