i was born a porn star she said
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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