y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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