I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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