I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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