I just pynch a tree in the face
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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