VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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